Duh, duh du duh, duh duh duh... dan na na na na (vibrato) ... you have to sing that to AC/DC 'Back in Black' and if you don't know that song... well, just skip it.
Life is extremely busy these days, but to be honest life is never quiet. We always seem to fill it up with every kind of busyness. Go to this meeting, get that errand done, go to this rehearsal, do this gig etc... life would be easy if you didn't have all the responsibilities that life comes with, which actually make it life and not just breathing. Sometimes the activities that make life or will make life better for us are often ignored for those opportunities that masquerade as opportunities for advancement, aka busyness.
Take for instance today, I had an early (I mean early for me) appointment at a radio station to plug my upcoming cd release concert (cue shameless plug which is at Calvary Baptist Church Oct. 23/10 at 7:00 p.m. with Linnea Salte and Jill Hagen). This meant that I had to disrupt my normal morning routine which usually encompasses getting to the gym by 8:30 and working out and then beginning my day. I don't like my routines getting interrupted and try to not to allow it. So why didn't I go to the gym after the interview at 9:00? Well because I have a Dr. appointment at 2:00 p.m. of course. I see the question in your eyes. I know it doesn't make sense to anyone else, but to me working out in the gym is like an appointment with death, better left delayed, however if it's going to happen then just get the damn thing done. Hence the reasoning 'if I can't do it in the first part of my day, then I am not going to do it at all', because it messes with the ebb and flow of the rest of my day (today in particular as I teach for 6 hours, and then have a band rehearsal for another 2-3).
The last few weeks have been hard, no weight-lifting because of my shoulder problems, intermittent gym attendance (avg. about 3-4 times a week) due to being sick and a schedule from hell, which I plan so whose fault is that? Eating wise it has been hard. Emotional eating is almost a disease for me, it is an addiction because food was always my first place of comfort, even to the point where it makes me angry when I can't have the foods I crave. Needless to say the scale has let me know how disappointed it is in me, but what can a machine tell you? Nothing really, except that I am on a journey that will end in disillusionment if I switch my addiction from food to the self-satisfying feeling I get when I drop 5 lbs in a week. The extremity of either makes neither healthy.
One of things I am learning about this journey is that it isn't about going to the gym one or two days, or eating well for a few months and then taking a break. To be successful means to commit to the journey all the time including the times when it's ok to indulge without overindulging. To commit to a life change, as opposed to just following a diet plan until I reach a destination. Funny word that, destination, as though 'there is always better than here' (thanks Joe Meyers for that thought)... I am learning that my destination is definitely a little more broader than losing a few pounds, but rather on the horizon rising as the sun lit with full glory is a destiny that is bound to change not only my physical appearance, but will also touch and challenge my spiritual and emotional life as well.
right now I am at 393 a loss of 2 lbs, as last week (which I didn't have time to blog about ) I was 395...
so here's to a crazy busy week, fraught with all types of fears and never ending opportunities for failure!
Blake
Monday, October 18, 2010
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Frustrations are frustrating...
Ok, it's time for a frustration rant... I haven't had one for a while... so I think it's time...
I am frustrated that it takes me a long time to get back into the swing of things, I am frustrated that I can't eat what I want, when I want, how I want and not gain weight like others... I am frustrated that this past week was a decent eating week, and a good exercise week and I still gained 2 lbs. I want to throw that scale through the wall!
For those of you who want to say 'oh well just take your frustration out on the treadmill, or some other kind of torture machine' SAVE IT... I know what I am supposed to do, but right now let me be like a woman who just wants you to HEAR, and not give advice... cue the ladies saying 'I just want you to LISTEN'... not that my wife ever has to say that to me ;). It is very frustrating, to go backwards even when you are going forward in every other area of fitness, you are eating better, working harder, but you gain instead of going down.
It isn't helping matters that I can't lift my left shoulder above my head. In fact I almost can't use it at all, I have been ignoring it through the summer so I could play ball, but now I went to physiotherapy and we are working on it. Physiotherapy is one of those funny things we do to ourselves in life. The 'Therapist' (notice how if you split therapist you get 'the rapist' also known as a salacious and sadist beast) basically sit you down ask and proceed to ask what hurts, how it hurts, when it hurts. As they ask they make you move into uncomfortable places, asking 'does that hurt?' 'is that tight?'. To which I reply sweetly 'twist that arm again and you'll see what hurts', but instead I whimper through gritted teeth, 'yeah that hurts a little' and tears begin to form. Then once we know every position I CAN'T do, they then tell me to do it 30 times!!!! umm.... and I am paying you $55 a session? oh well at least I will have a shoulder back... maybe...
anyways, yeah I was up again last week... this week though seems to be going much better... that scale better be good or else my frustration will be taken out on it!
later
Blake
I am frustrated that it takes me a long time to get back into the swing of things, I am frustrated that I can't eat what I want, when I want, how I want and not gain weight like others... I am frustrated that this past week was a decent eating week, and a good exercise week and I still gained 2 lbs. I want to throw that scale through the wall!
For those of you who want to say 'oh well just take your frustration out on the treadmill, or some other kind of torture machine' SAVE IT... I know what I am supposed to do, but right now let me be like a woman who just wants you to HEAR, and not give advice... cue the ladies saying 'I just want you to LISTEN'... not that my wife ever has to say that to me ;). It is very frustrating, to go backwards even when you are going forward in every other area of fitness, you are eating better, working harder, but you gain instead of going down.
It isn't helping matters that I can't lift my left shoulder above my head. In fact I almost can't use it at all, I have been ignoring it through the summer so I could play ball, but now I went to physiotherapy and we are working on it. Physiotherapy is one of those funny things we do to ourselves in life. The 'Therapist' (notice how if you split therapist you get 'the rapist' also known as a salacious and sadist beast) basically sit you down ask and proceed to ask what hurts, how it hurts, when it hurts. As they ask they make you move into uncomfortable places, asking 'does that hurt?' 'is that tight?'. To which I reply sweetly 'twist that arm again and you'll see what hurts', but instead I whimper through gritted teeth, 'yeah that hurts a little' and tears begin to form. Then once we know every position I CAN'T do, they then tell me to do it 30 times!!!! umm.... and I am paying you $55 a session? oh well at least I will have a shoulder back... maybe...
anyways, yeah I was up again last week... this week though seems to be going much better... that scale better be good or else my frustration will be taken out on it!
later
Blake
Friday, September 3, 2010
Scales of Woe
Bless me father for I have sinned it has been so long since my last confession (blog).
I have committed a grievous sin. The summer binge! I feel ashamed, I feel angry, I feel like I am in a 12-step program and I just fell off the wagon... well I didn't call this blog, the diary of a food addict for nothing.
Life this summer was HECTIC, between family, travels, gigs, and trying to enjoy a little bit of summer with Amy, I was hard pressed to find the time to get to the gym. Let's face it, with the whole 2 hours of summer that we had in Edmonton, the last thing I wanted to do was go inside and run on a treadmill. I did though, try to stay as active as possible, which meant swimming, some golfing, a little slo-pitch, and the best activity to date teaching Amy how to play squash...you can ask her how that went...
We ate well, in every sense of the word. Most times it was healthy, but it was holidays and part of enjoying a holiday is doing things that you normally don't get the chance to do in your everyday life. In my previous life though, I would let the good times roll a little too often and a little too long. When we got back a few weeks ago, Amy and I set a 'd-day' for when we would return to our new normal, and we have and it feels good.
The best (sarcasm) part of my summer was coming home and going to the gym after a 2 week lay off. If you read my last blog, I was down to almost 370lbs! I was very excited. To my horror, the gym had replaced the scale and the new scale was a jerk he was NOT being nice AT ALL! I had gained big time... like 20 lbs... I was very very disturbed... I nearly broke one of the trainers in half as I grabbed him and said in a very desperate voice 'WHERE IS THE OLD SCALE, you know the one that said I was skinny, this one is calling me fat'... he didn't quite know what to say, or how to say it, 'the old scale was out by 6lbs...' I felt like someone had punched me in the stomach, the scale that I had trusted, the scale I grown to love, I shared secrets with had DECEIVED me. If it was in the building it would have made it's last noise being crunched by the asphalt as I through it off the roof.
I went home, and nearly cried. I was so disappointed, but eventually I came around to the truth that even though it was out I had still lost the same amount of weight, because I had started from a bigger number as well.
The new scale seems to be working ok, but I will never trust it. How could I after being deceived these many weeks and months. However it says that I am 389 lbs... so if we add 6 to the 370 I was at we arrive at 376. Which means right now I am about 13lbs away from where I started at the beginning of the summer. I am not really worried about that coming off as I know when I start doing my regular work-out routine and keep eating the way I know I am supposed to things will turn around.
This comes to my new goal. I have been thinking about it all summer, where I want to be in the next few months. I have decided that I would like be to at 300lbs by my next birthday which is just over 6 months away. This means I need to lose an avg. of 14.8 lbs a month. My previous avg. (before the sumer) was 20.6 lbs. So barring an extremely naughty cmas, (which won't be happening) I should be able to pull this off!
Thanks for reading, I love to hear from you!
Blake
I have committed a grievous sin. The summer binge! I feel ashamed, I feel angry, I feel like I am in a 12-step program and I just fell off the wagon... well I didn't call this blog, the diary of a food addict for nothing.
Life this summer was HECTIC, between family, travels, gigs, and trying to enjoy a little bit of summer with Amy, I was hard pressed to find the time to get to the gym. Let's face it, with the whole 2 hours of summer that we had in Edmonton, the last thing I wanted to do was go inside and run on a treadmill. I did though, try to stay as active as possible, which meant swimming, some golfing, a little slo-pitch, and the best activity to date teaching Amy how to play squash...you can ask her how that went...
We ate well, in every sense of the word. Most times it was healthy, but it was holidays and part of enjoying a holiday is doing things that you normally don't get the chance to do in your everyday life. In my previous life though, I would let the good times roll a little too often and a little too long. When we got back a few weeks ago, Amy and I set a 'd-day' for when we would return to our new normal, and we have and it feels good.
The best (sarcasm) part of my summer was coming home and going to the gym after a 2 week lay off. If you read my last blog, I was down to almost 370lbs! I was very excited. To my horror, the gym had replaced the scale and the new scale was a jerk he was NOT being nice AT ALL! I had gained big time... like 20 lbs... I was very very disturbed... I nearly broke one of the trainers in half as I grabbed him and said in a very desperate voice 'WHERE IS THE OLD SCALE, you know the one that said I was skinny, this one is calling me fat'... he didn't quite know what to say, or how to say it, 'the old scale was out by 6lbs...' I felt like someone had punched me in the stomach, the scale that I had trusted, the scale I grown to love, I shared secrets with had DECEIVED me. If it was in the building it would have made it's last noise being crunched by the asphalt as I through it off the roof.
I went home, and nearly cried. I was so disappointed, but eventually I came around to the truth that even though it was out I had still lost the same amount of weight, because I had started from a bigger number as well.
The new scale seems to be working ok, but I will never trust it. How could I after being deceived these many weeks and months. However it says that I am 389 lbs... so if we add 6 to the 370 I was at we arrive at 376. Which means right now I am about 13lbs away from where I started at the beginning of the summer. I am not really worried about that coming off as I know when I start doing my regular work-out routine and keep eating the way I know I am supposed to things will turn around.
This comes to my new goal. I have been thinking about it all summer, where I want to be in the next few months. I have decided that I would like be to at 300lbs by my next birthday which is just over 6 months away. This means I need to lose an avg. of 14.8 lbs a month. My previous avg. (before the sumer) was 20.6 lbs. So barring an extremely naughty cmas, (which won't be happening) I should be able to pull this off!
Thanks for reading, I love to hear from you!
Blake
Monday, July 26, 2010
Summer days, summer haze,
Hey everyone hope your summer has been good... mine has been pretty busy with finishing my second 'ep' which will be available soon, traveling to visit friends and family in SK and soon to Vancouver and Kelowna, as well as gigs in Dauphin, MB, and Kelowna (Aug. 2 at the Minstrel Cafe).
I always get a little scared when I have to go away from home, it usually means that you have little to no control over your diet, and you are away from you normal routine of sleep and gym time. Summer itself changes my sleep and working out routines just because Amy and I like to stay up later than normal, and sleep a little later (I am usually up and out of the house by 9 which may not be late for some).
On our trips this year we have done fairly well at keeping ourselves active, by playing a round or two of golf, slo-pitch, even going for walks and attempts at playing tennis. Because I am not 'gymming' it everyday means that I need to be active and I think that being a more active person is one thing that has changed overall in my life since I started the journey.
The eating part is alot harder than normal as you are going out to eat much more than you usually do when you travel, as well you may not be able to cook a lot when you are visiting someone else.
For instance we were billeted in Dauphin MB and our amazing hosts made us what I am sure is a treat to everyone else, but to us it was pounds in a pan. She made us these amazing breadpan cinnamon buns. Sooo much gooey caramel goodness, there was also orange juice, and cereal, and coffee. To someone else that might seem like the ideal treat, to me it was hard to eat even though it was quite good. It was all sugar, I need protein to survive, and thrive! I was like a little school kid on our drive home because of the sugar high and then I became like Eore the Donkey when I crashed and I was angry at everything.
That is what sugar in your bloodstream does when it isn't controlled properly by balancing protein, fat and carbs. Notice how you get tired in the later afternoon and need a 'pick-me-up' and we reach for the high-sugar- snacks like donuts or cookies with our mid-afternoon coffees. When you consistently eat protein with carbs and fats in the right ratio your blood sugar level won't crash which means you will not be as hungry, or as tired, or as cranky!
Amy and I did pack a lot of snacks and we did do a lot of our own cooking when visiting with my family in SK. It's a lot of hassle to pack a cooler full of fruit and cheeze and protein powder but it really helped us to stay away from junkfood and other quick foods that are full of empty calories. One of our 'power' foods was beef jerky! It is a high-protein source, that can be low in sugar and in fat if you look hard enough. Careful about the sodium content eating a bag every hour or two will not be good for you. The other thing we did was drink water, ALOT of it so that anything that wasn't 'good' for us was being cleansed quickly. However, we did have to stop a bit more than usual ;)...
The summer travels thus far weren't that bad. When I last weighed in it was a couple of days before we left and I was 374 (which meant that I had gained 2 lbs in the few days after my last blog) and when I came home expecting to be up again, I found that I had not only lost the 2 lbs since my last blog but also another 2lbs. I weighed in this week at 370.2lbs! My total weight loss now stands at just over 55 lbs. Not bad for a 3.5 months.
I will be back from my travels next Tues. and get back to the gym and have some normal life for a couple of weeks before I head to Calgary for another gig.
Wish me luck!
Blake
I always get a little scared when I have to go away from home, it usually means that you have little to no control over your diet, and you are away from you normal routine of sleep and gym time. Summer itself changes my sleep and working out routines just because Amy and I like to stay up later than normal, and sleep a little later (I am usually up and out of the house by 9 which may not be late for some).
On our trips this year we have done fairly well at keeping ourselves active, by playing a round or two of golf, slo-pitch, even going for walks and attempts at playing tennis. Because I am not 'gymming' it everyday means that I need to be active and I think that being a more active person is one thing that has changed overall in my life since I started the journey.
The eating part is alot harder than normal as you are going out to eat much more than you usually do when you travel, as well you may not be able to cook a lot when you are visiting someone else.
For instance we were billeted in Dauphin MB and our amazing hosts made us what I am sure is a treat to everyone else, but to us it was pounds in a pan. She made us these amazing breadpan cinnamon buns. Sooo much gooey caramel goodness, there was also orange juice, and cereal, and coffee. To someone else that might seem like the ideal treat, to me it was hard to eat even though it was quite good. It was all sugar, I need protein to survive, and thrive! I was like a little school kid on our drive home because of the sugar high and then I became like Eore the Donkey when I crashed and I was angry at everything.
That is what sugar in your bloodstream does when it isn't controlled properly by balancing protein, fat and carbs. Notice how you get tired in the later afternoon and need a 'pick-me-up' and we reach for the high-sugar- snacks like donuts or cookies with our mid-afternoon coffees. When you consistently eat protein with carbs and fats in the right ratio your blood sugar level won't crash which means you will not be as hungry, or as tired, or as cranky!
Amy and I did pack a lot of snacks and we did do a lot of our own cooking when visiting with my family in SK. It's a lot of hassle to pack a cooler full of fruit and cheeze and protein powder but it really helped us to stay away from junkfood and other quick foods that are full of empty calories. One of our 'power' foods was beef jerky! It is a high-protein source, that can be low in sugar and in fat if you look hard enough. Careful about the sodium content eating a bag every hour or two will not be good for you. The other thing we did was drink water, ALOT of it so that anything that wasn't 'good' for us was being cleansed quickly. However, we did have to stop a bit more than usual ;)...
The summer travels thus far weren't that bad. When I last weighed in it was a couple of days before we left and I was 374 (which meant that I had gained 2 lbs in the few days after my last blog) and when I came home expecting to be up again, I found that I had not only lost the 2 lbs since my last blog but also another 2lbs. I weighed in this week at 370.2lbs! My total weight loss now stands at just over 55 lbs. Not bad for a 3.5 months.
I will be back from my travels next Tues. and get back to the gym and have some normal life for a couple of weeks before I head to Calgary for another gig.
Wish me luck!
Blake
Monday, June 28, 2010
Golfing not just a thin man's sport
I love golfing. Perhaps I should explain. I love going golfing, but what I do on the course may or may not be what one would call golf.
When I drive it is usually long but more often than not it slices like a boomerang and looks like it might come back and hit me in my face. Worse yet is my iron play which can go from bad to worse in a matter of seconds depending upon how angry I get. Very often I can throw the club farther than I hit the friggin' ball. Then there is my putting which simply put (haha pardon the pun) is horrible. I can take a great drive, a decent second shot and make it into a gentleman's 8 in a few short strokes. I love golfing, no sarcasm I actually love golfing.
My friend Kevin introduced me to it. He would stand and laugh at me as I teed off every ball in my bag as I got angrier and angrier because it wouldn't go straight. They would curve far into the woods never to be seen again by mankind. Eventually after I graduated College I used my grad money to by myself a grad present which was a set of new Jazz clubs (canadian made baby!) Over the course of the summer I broke each club (these were broke on hitting the ball not by me hitting the ground or anything else in anger) which sent me back to the store for another stronger set (bought on warranty). That summer I actually improved mostly because my friend Doug and I played almost 2-3 times a week as I was needing some serious stress relief after a break-up I didn't see coming, a graduation from College into a life of paying bills and learning about the real world and my continuing in a ministry of a church that was under it's own brand of tension and strife. Golfing for me became a boon, as did eating by the way and sometimes those things co-mingled!
Golfing can be great exercise. Lot's of walking (especially when you play like I do), lot's of twisting and turning your core. I was pretty excited when my wife and I and our friend Debbie headed out to my favourite local course for a quick round of nine of Saturday afternoon. I warmed up with a bucket of balls, as this was mine and Amy's first outing of the year with our clubs. It was interesting to me that I was able to swing more efficiently, and easily than I had the previous year. My back that had been bothering me since I hurt it last summer wasn't as tight either as I warmed up. Before we knew it our name was called and we were facing our first challenging hole of the year. A little par 4 that has a 90 degree dog leg in it making it perfect for a 'shape' iron shot. I surprised myself by parring the first hole. The next couple of holes were less than par but I was able to get myself out of trouble and do reasonably well. The fourth hole something clicked and I unleashed an almost 300 yard drive straight up the fairway about 40 ft. from the green. My game continued with good shots and bad shots and everything in between but I noticed that my score was relatively low for my first round of the year (which I usually don't count the score on). By the end of our round I tallied it up and I had shot a personal best for my first round of 46 (par is 36) only 10 over.
I began to wonder what had happened, and what the difference was. I decided it had to be that because I have lost almost 55 lbs, and I had been doing so much core work that I had more 'control' instead of 'momentum' as my core has been strengthened greatly. I was still pretty stiff and tired the rest of the day, mostly because of my tired back muscles but after about 10 minutes of some stretching and a back rub by my very amazing wife I was good to go and woke up the next day without any strains or stiffness.
I weighed in on Friday and I was at 372.1 lbs which means that I lost another 2.6 lbs for a total of 53.9lbs total weight loss.
This week will be a good one I think even though it's busy for me with recording, gigs, and travel all coming up soon. I am going to look at some new goals for the summer as I would like to be down to my high school grad weight which was 340lbs (I was a large 18 year old). That means I would need to lose 32.1 lbs in just over 2 months (Sept. long weekend). I think that's doable. Amy and I will also be measuring me this weekend!
Here's to summer at last !
Take care talk soon
Blake
When I drive it is usually long but more often than not it slices like a boomerang and looks like it might come back and hit me in my face. Worse yet is my iron play which can go from bad to worse in a matter of seconds depending upon how angry I get. Very often I can throw the club farther than I hit the friggin' ball. Then there is my putting which simply put (haha pardon the pun) is horrible. I can take a great drive, a decent second shot and make it into a gentleman's 8 in a few short strokes. I love golfing, no sarcasm I actually love golfing.
My friend Kevin introduced me to it. He would stand and laugh at me as I teed off every ball in my bag as I got angrier and angrier because it wouldn't go straight. They would curve far into the woods never to be seen again by mankind. Eventually after I graduated College I used my grad money to by myself a grad present which was a set of new Jazz clubs (canadian made baby!) Over the course of the summer I broke each club (these were broke on hitting the ball not by me hitting the ground or anything else in anger) which sent me back to the store for another stronger set (bought on warranty). That summer I actually improved mostly because my friend Doug and I played almost 2-3 times a week as I was needing some serious stress relief after a break-up I didn't see coming, a graduation from College into a life of paying bills and learning about the real world and my continuing in a ministry of a church that was under it's own brand of tension and strife. Golfing for me became a boon, as did eating by the way and sometimes those things co-mingled!
Golfing can be great exercise. Lot's of walking (especially when you play like I do), lot's of twisting and turning your core. I was pretty excited when my wife and I and our friend Debbie headed out to my favourite local course for a quick round of nine of Saturday afternoon. I warmed up with a bucket of balls, as this was mine and Amy's first outing of the year with our clubs. It was interesting to me that I was able to swing more efficiently, and easily than I had the previous year. My back that had been bothering me since I hurt it last summer wasn't as tight either as I warmed up. Before we knew it our name was called and we were facing our first challenging hole of the year. A little par 4 that has a 90 degree dog leg in it making it perfect for a 'shape' iron shot. I surprised myself by parring the first hole. The next couple of holes were less than par but I was able to get myself out of trouble and do reasonably well. The fourth hole something clicked and I unleashed an almost 300 yard drive straight up the fairway about 40 ft. from the green. My game continued with good shots and bad shots and everything in between but I noticed that my score was relatively low for my first round of the year (which I usually don't count the score on). By the end of our round I tallied it up and I had shot a personal best for my first round of 46 (par is 36) only 10 over.
I began to wonder what had happened, and what the difference was. I decided it had to be that because I have lost almost 55 lbs, and I had been doing so much core work that I had more 'control' instead of 'momentum' as my core has been strengthened greatly. I was still pretty stiff and tired the rest of the day, mostly because of my tired back muscles but after about 10 minutes of some stretching and a back rub by my very amazing wife I was good to go and woke up the next day without any strains or stiffness.
I weighed in on Friday and I was at 372.1 lbs which means that I lost another 2.6 lbs for a total of 53.9lbs total weight loss.
This week will be a good one I think even though it's busy for me with recording, gigs, and travel all coming up soon. I am going to look at some new goals for the summer as I would like to be down to my high school grad weight which was 340lbs (I was a large 18 year old). That means I would need to lose 32.1 lbs in just over 2 months (Sept. long weekend). I think that's doable. Amy and I will also be measuring me this weekend!
Here's to summer at last !
Take care talk soon
Blake
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Sick and Fat
I caught a cold last week. When I get a cold my wife would like you all to know I become like every other man when they are sick. A whiny, sniveling wuss, who can't even crack a can of soup. I hate being sick especially during the summer time when you want to be outside. I was kind of happy it was January in June last week as it matched my mood.
I was worried about being sick though, because it meant I couldn't get to the gym. It meant that I had to stay home for a few days, it meant that I had to find at home, without going to the gym a way to comfort myself in my time of sickness. We all know what we are like when we are sick, get out the ice cream, get out the junk food, get out anything that will make us feel better.
Normally when I am sick I would make a couple of fast food runs, grab a movie or two, and hunker down and wait it out, all the while enjoying my reprieve from the real world with comfort in a burger, ice-cream or fries form. I am a simple man after all, it doesn't take much to make me feel happy when I am not feeling well. So what was I going to do now that I couldn't have my comfort food.
Well I still had comfort food. Comfort came in the form of soup (which is my all time favorite comfort food) in a can as I was too drugged up to be trusted with preparing my own homemade soup. I ate some trail mix (very little I might add) and I slept. Sleeping when you are sick is apparently the best thing for you, I never knew this before because I was too busy watching movies and eating ice cream to sleep.
I was really worried though because I wasn't able to get to the gym, as I knew going to the gym when you are sick is a real no-no. Although some might argue going to the gym when you are feeling good is also misplaced truth. Even though I was eating healthy, it did mean an entire week away from the gym.
I hit the gym on Tuesday to start off with some easy cardio for the next week or so. After my workout I decided to face the inevitable and climbed upon the harbinger of bad numbered news; only to find out that I hadn't gained, I had actually lost. I lost 4.9 lbs on a week that I hadn't gone to the gym. I was so happy I couldn't stop smiling in the change room, which almost got me in trouble with a rather 'muscly' type guy who thought I was checking him out. What I was most happy about though was the fact that I broke my goal of losing 50 lbs by the end of June early. I have lost a total of 51.3 lbs!
I am pretty excited about that, I think I will celebrate... McDonald's anyone? Just kidding...
Later
Blakey
I was worried about being sick though, because it meant I couldn't get to the gym. It meant that I had to stay home for a few days, it meant that I had to find at home, without going to the gym a way to comfort myself in my time of sickness. We all know what we are like when we are sick, get out the ice cream, get out the junk food, get out anything that will make us feel better.
Normally when I am sick I would make a couple of fast food runs, grab a movie or two, and hunker down and wait it out, all the while enjoying my reprieve from the real world with comfort in a burger, ice-cream or fries form. I am a simple man after all, it doesn't take much to make me feel happy when I am not feeling well. So what was I going to do now that I couldn't have my comfort food.
Well I still had comfort food. Comfort came in the form of soup (which is my all time favorite comfort food) in a can as I was too drugged up to be trusted with preparing my own homemade soup. I ate some trail mix (very little I might add) and I slept. Sleeping when you are sick is apparently the best thing for you, I never knew this before because I was too busy watching movies and eating ice cream to sleep.
I was really worried though because I wasn't able to get to the gym, as I knew going to the gym when you are sick is a real no-no. Although some might argue going to the gym when you are feeling good is also misplaced truth. Even though I was eating healthy, it did mean an entire week away from the gym.
I hit the gym on Tuesday to start off with some easy cardio for the next week or so. After my workout I decided to face the inevitable and climbed upon the harbinger of bad numbered news; only to find out that I hadn't gained, I had actually lost. I lost 4.9 lbs on a week that I hadn't gone to the gym. I was so happy I couldn't stop smiling in the change room, which almost got me in trouble with a rather 'muscly' type guy who thought I was checking him out. What I was most happy about though was the fact that I broke my goal of losing 50 lbs by the end of June early. I have lost a total of 51.3 lbs!
I am pretty excited about that, I think I will celebrate... McDonald's anyone? Just kidding...
Later
Blakey
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Motivating Factors Pt. Deux
Thanks everyone for the feedback, it's time to continue the conversation that I started a week ago.
I think we all understand and can agree that fear is a motivator. However for me and I think for most others the fear of dying because of lifestyle choices fades pretty fast. The moment temptation arises our fears are assuaged as we dive into the need to comfort ourselves from those same fears. It's really a sick cycle and we are the metaphorical hamster on the spinning wheel. This reminds me of one of my favorite quotes from Austin Powers where Fat Bastard is bemoaning the fact that he is fat. "I'm unhappy because I eat, I eat because I'm unhappy"... many of us have this issue.
I asked last week what motivates you? If fear is not powerful enough on its own to keep us motivated then what will?
I think I shared this a few blogs ago, but in coming to my decision to become a healthier version of myself during a day of solitude I wrote down a list of dreams that I wanted to accomplish in my 30's. The dreams that pertain to my weight loss are my motivators. Some of them you probably will find ridiculous, but then again being almost 450 lbs is also ridiculous. (BTW-I tipped the scales Sept. 2009 at 440.6 lbs and lost 20lbs using the Weight Watchers System for 3 months. This journey started at 426.6 lbs)
1). To be able to sit comfortably in a chair with arms.
This might be to some a very silly and almost embarrassing motivator unless you are a large person. Chairs with arms frighten me, they make me shake, and sweat. They usually send me running, okay walking around looking for another chair without arms. CWA (chairs with arms) are a huge deal. I can remember times going to a new restaurant, hoping to God they would have at least one chair without arms so I didn't have to endure the 'Slouch' position. You know what the 'Slouch' is all about don't you? You know the one where you put your butt on the front of the chair and lean back so that you almost form a plank shape against the chair. This allows you to 'sit' with most of your largesse out of the arms while making it look as though you mean to sit that way.
I have to say though I may not be able to fit in some CWA's no matter how much weight I lose. I am pretty big-boneded (no that wasn't a spelling mistake, you have to say it like that 'I am just big-bone-ded') and there are some chairs that my ass just wasn't made for. Like those small metal chairs that used to be in every reception office and hospital waiting room. The ones with with shiny legs and upholstered seats. I can't even get a leg in one of those things. 'Just take seat sir the Doctor will be right in ' 'Uh no thanks, my hemorrhoids flared up again why the hell do you think I'm here?'
Plane seats aren't much better. The last time I flew was on my way home from our honeymoon in Mexico. Now I am not sure who makes those plane seats, but I can bet they look NOTHING like me. They probably haven't ever seen a person my size. I almost didn't make it home because the seats were too narrow, or was it my ass to wide... either way there was a struggle, a deep breath, a snap of the arm bending on the chair and there I was hoping that I didn't have to get out again till Edmonton, only 6.5 hours away hoping I didn't have to pay for that broken arm on the seat. I really thought it should move, I guess it does now, any other 'large' passenger that uses that seat can thank me later it is now officially 'broken in'.
The point is that one of my motivators is to be able to sit in a CWA without any fear of me breaking it, bending it, snapping it, or otherwise destroying a seat that some small person can easily fall into. My hope is to walk into any restaurant and never have to worry about the question... 'Booth or table sir?' 'I don't care I fit anything now!"
2). First shopping trip in a 'normal' sized store.
You know what's funny about this one, is that it happened last week. Amy bought me some new clothes to work out in. I was worried, how were we going to pay for this? (clothes at the Big and Tall store cost me anywhere between twice to three times as much as it would anywhere else, apparently we use THAT much cloth). Amy brought home 3 bags but from Wal-Mart! This is a big deal. I have never bought anything at Wal-Mart (some of you would applaud that). So either Wal-Mart is buying bigger clothes or I am getting smaller. It is a combination of both.
I always go into Old Navy with Amy looking for stuff for her. She always tries to find things for me, but I tell her it's a waste of her time, but in a few short months it won't be, and I will have joined the masses, the proud new owner of a poorly sown polo-shirt that only cost me $10!
3). The ability to do things that I haven't been able to do. (ie. Sports, Hike, Camp)
Acouple of weekends ago we went to Jasper and did a small hike, and a bunch of other really nice walks around a lake (I walked around an ENTIRE lake). These were huge milestones for me, normally I would rather watch others hike or walk around the lake, now I am the one doing it.
The camping well it might not be that strenuous, but from a guy who makes a 3 man tent look like a grocery bag I am excited to head off into the 'wilderness' and explore my 'Manhood' as I make fires, and sear meat yay for Coleman stoves and Hot Dogs. (BTW does anyone know how to make our stove work?)
I started playing ball again, this is always something I have done except for the past couple of years in Edmonton, but I am really excited to be able to play at a level that I haven't been able to do. I am looking forward to the day when I am more agile, quicker, and stronger on a bat than I was even in high school. I am looking forward to the day that when I run around the bases I actually run around the bases.
Fear might start our motivation, but living is what keeps us motivated. Motivation needs to arise out of a desire to achieve what you thought impossible. Motivation is all about setting a goal, and pursuing it relentlessly until it is achieved. Our motivation should be about LIVING LIFE WELL whatever that means to you. For me the key to a life lived well, means that I become a healthy person (emotionally, physically and spiritually) so that I can do the things that I dream of, so that I can be the husband, the father, the leader, the man that I know I was created to be.
I am excited to share my week with you. I had a great eating week, and I had a couple of dogged work-outs but I persevered. I lost another 4.4 lbs which means that I broke through 380 this week and I now sit at 379.6lbs!
Thanks for following, I pray that somehow, somewhere you will find the motivation to change your life wherever it needs to be changed.
Talk to you all soon
Blake
I think we all understand and can agree that fear is a motivator. However for me and I think for most others the fear of dying because of lifestyle choices fades pretty fast. The moment temptation arises our fears are assuaged as we dive into the need to comfort ourselves from those same fears. It's really a sick cycle and we are the metaphorical hamster on the spinning wheel. This reminds me of one of my favorite quotes from Austin Powers where Fat Bastard is bemoaning the fact that he is fat. "I'm unhappy because I eat, I eat because I'm unhappy"... many of us have this issue.
I asked last week what motivates you? If fear is not powerful enough on its own to keep us motivated then what will?
I think I shared this a few blogs ago, but in coming to my decision to become a healthier version of myself during a day of solitude I wrote down a list of dreams that I wanted to accomplish in my 30's. The dreams that pertain to my weight loss are my motivators. Some of them you probably will find ridiculous, but then again being almost 450 lbs is also ridiculous. (BTW-I tipped the scales Sept. 2009 at 440.6 lbs and lost 20lbs using the Weight Watchers System for 3 months. This journey started at 426.6 lbs)
1). To be able to sit comfortably in a chair with arms.
This might be to some a very silly and almost embarrassing motivator unless you are a large person. Chairs with arms frighten me, they make me shake, and sweat. They usually send me running, okay walking around looking for another chair without arms. CWA (chairs with arms) are a huge deal. I can remember times going to a new restaurant, hoping to God they would have at least one chair without arms so I didn't have to endure the 'Slouch' position. You know what the 'Slouch' is all about don't you? You know the one where you put your butt on the front of the chair and lean back so that you almost form a plank shape against the chair. This allows you to 'sit' with most of your largesse out of the arms while making it look as though you mean to sit that way.
I have to say though I may not be able to fit in some CWA's no matter how much weight I lose. I am pretty big-boneded (no that wasn't a spelling mistake, you have to say it like that 'I am just big-bone-ded') and there are some chairs that my ass just wasn't made for. Like those small metal chairs that used to be in every reception office and hospital waiting room. The ones with with shiny legs and upholstered seats. I can't even get a leg in one of those things. 'Just take seat sir the Doctor will be right in ' 'Uh no thanks, my hemorrhoids flared up again why the hell do you think I'm here?'
Plane seats aren't much better. The last time I flew was on my way home from our honeymoon in Mexico. Now I am not sure who makes those plane seats, but I can bet they look NOTHING like me. They probably haven't ever seen a person my size. I almost didn't make it home because the seats were too narrow, or was it my ass to wide... either way there was a struggle, a deep breath, a snap of the arm bending on the chair and there I was hoping that I didn't have to get out again till Edmonton, only 6.5 hours away hoping I didn't have to pay for that broken arm on the seat. I really thought it should move, I guess it does now, any other 'large' passenger that uses that seat can thank me later it is now officially 'broken in'.
The point is that one of my motivators is to be able to sit in a CWA without any fear of me breaking it, bending it, snapping it, or otherwise destroying a seat that some small person can easily fall into. My hope is to walk into any restaurant and never have to worry about the question... 'Booth or table sir?' 'I don't care I fit anything now!"
2). First shopping trip in a 'normal' sized store.
You know what's funny about this one, is that it happened last week. Amy bought me some new clothes to work out in. I was worried, how were we going to pay for this? (clothes at the Big and Tall store cost me anywhere between twice to three times as much as it would anywhere else, apparently we use THAT much cloth). Amy brought home 3 bags but from Wal-Mart! This is a big deal. I have never bought anything at Wal-Mart (some of you would applaud that). So either Wal-Mart is buying bigger clothes or I am getting smaller. It is a combination of both.
I always go into Old Navy with Amy looking for stuff for her. She always tries to find things for me, but I tell her it's a waste of her time, but in a few short months it won't be, and I will have joined the masses, the proud new owner of a poorly sown polo-shirt that only cost me $10!
3). The ability to do things that I haven't been able to do. (ie. Sports, Hike, Camp)
Acouple of weekends ago we went to Jasper and did a small hike, and a bunch of other really nice walks around a lake (I walked around an ENTIRE lake). These were huge milestones for me, normally I would rather watch others hike or walk around the lake, now I am the one doing it.
The camping well it might not be that strenuous, but from a guy who makes a 3 man tent look like a grocery bag I am excited to head off into the 'wilderness' and explore my 'Manhood' as I make fires, and sear meat yay for Coleman stoves and Hot Dogs. (BTW does anyone know how to make our stove work?)
I started playing ball again, this is always something I have done except for the past couple of years in Edmonton, but I am really excited to be able to play at a level that I haven't been able to do. I am looking forward to the day when I am more agile, quicker, and stronger on a bat than I was even in high school. I am looking forward to the day that when I run around the bases I actually run around the bases.
Fear might start our motivation, but living is what keeps us motivated. Motivation needs to arise out of a desire to achieve what you thought impossible. Motivation is all about setting a goal, and pursuing it relentlessly until it is achieved. Our motivation should be about LIVING LIFE WELL whatever that means to you. For me the key to a life lived well, means that I become a healthy person (emotionally, physically and spiritually) so that I can do the things that I dream of, so that I can be the husband, the father, the leader, the man that I know I was created to be.
I am excited to share my week with you. I had a great eating week, and I had a couple of dogged work-outs but I persevered. I lost another 4.4 lbs which means that I broke through 380 this week and I now sit at 379.6lbs!
Thanks for following, I pray that somehow, somewhere you will find the motivation to change your life wherever it needs to be changed.
Talk to you all soon
Blake
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