Ok, it's time for a frustration rant... I haven't had one for a while... so I think it's time...
I am frustrated that it takes me a long time to get back into the swing of things, I am frustrated that I can't eat what I want, when I want, how I want and not gain weight like others... I am frustrated that this past week was a decent eating week, and a good exercise week and I still gained 2 lbs. I want to throw that scale through the wall!
For those of you who want to say 'oh well just take your frustration out on the treadmill, or some other kind of torture machine' SAVE IT... I know what I am supposed to do, but right now let me be like a woman who just wants you to HEAR, and not give advice... cue the ladies saying 'I just want you to LISTEN'... not that my wife ever has to say that to me ;). It is very frustrating, to go backwards even when you are going forward in every other area of fitness, you are eating better, working harder, but you gain instead of going down.
It isn't helping matters that I can't lift my left shoulder above my head. In fact I almost can't use it at all, I have been ignoring it through the summer so I could play ball, but now I went to physiotherapy and we are working on it. Physiotherapy is one of those funny things we do to ourselves in life. The 'Therapist' (notice how if you split therapist you get 'the rapist' also known as a salacious and sadist beast) basically sit you down ask and proceed to ask what hurts, how it hurts, when it hurts. As they ask they make you move into uncomfortable places, asking 'does that hurt?' 'is that tight?'. To which I reply sweetly 'twist that arm again and you'll see what hurts', but instead I whimper through gritted teeth, 'yeah that hurts a little' and tears begin to form. Then once we know every position I CAN'T do, they then tell me to do it 30 times!!!! umm.... and I am paying you $55 a session? oh well at least I will have a shoulder back... maybe...
anyways, yeah I was up again last week... this week though seems to be going much better... that scale better be good or else my frustration will be taken out on it!
later
Blake
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Friday, September 3, 2010
Scales of Woe
Bless me father for I have sinned it has been so long since my last confession (blog).
I have committed a grievous sin. The summer binge! I feel ashamed, I feel angry, I feel like I am in a 12-step program and I just fell off the wagon... well I didn't call this blog, the diary of a food addict for nothing.
Life this summer was HECTIC, between family, travels, gigs, and trying to enjoy a little bit of summer with Amy, I was hard pressed to find the time to get to the gym. Let's face it, with the whole 2 hours of summer that we had in Edmonton, the last thing I wanted to do was go inside and run on a treadmill. I did though, try to stay as active as possible, which meant swimming, some golfing, a little slo-pitch, and the best activity to date teaching Amy how to play squash...you can ask her how that went...
We ate well, in every sense of the word. Most times it was healthy, but it was holidays and part of enjoying a holiday is doing things that you normally don't get the chance to do in your everyday life. In my previous life though, I would let the good times roll a little too often and a little too long. When we got back a few weeks ago, Amy and I set a 'd-day' for when we would return to our new normal, and we have and it feels good.
The best (sarcasm) part of my summer was coming home and going to the gym after a 2 week lay off. If you read my last blog, I was down to almost 370lbs! I was very excited. To my horror, the gym had replaced the scale and the new scale was a jerk he was NOT being nice AT ALL! I had gained big time... like 20 lbs... I was very very disturbed... I nearly broke one of the trainers in half as I grabbed him and said in a very desperate voice 'WHERE IS THE OLD SCALE, you know the one that said I was skinny, this one is calling me fat'... he didn't quite know what to say, or how to say it, 'the old scale was out by 6lbs...' I felt like someone had punched me in the stomach, the scale that I had trusted, the scale I grown to love, I shared secrets with had DECEIVED me. If it was in the building it would have made it's last noise being crunched by the asphalt as I through it off the roof.
I went home, and nearly cried. I was so disappointed, but eventually I came around to the truth that even though it was out I had still lost the same amount of weight, because I had started from a bigger number as well.
The new scale seems to be working ok, but I will never trust it. How could I after being deceived these many weeks and months. However it says that I am 389 lbs... so if we add 6 to the 370 I was at we arrive at 376. Which means right now I am about 13lbs away from where I started at the beginning of the summer. I am not really worried about that coming off as I know when I start doing my regular work-out routine and keep eating the way I know I am supposed to things will turn around.
This comes to my new goal. I have been thinking about it all summer, where I want to be in the next few months. I have decided that I would like be to at 300lbs by my next birthday which is just over 6 months away. This means I need to lose an avg. of 14.8 lbs a month. My previous avg. (before the sumer) was 20.6 lbs. So barring an extremely naughty cmas, (which won't be happening) I should be able to pull this off!
Thanks for reading, I love to hear from you!
Blake
I have committed a grievous sin. The summer binge! I feel ashamed, I feel angry, I feel like I am in a 12-step program and I just fell off the wagon... well I didn't call this blog, the diary of a food addict for nothing.
Life this summer was HECTIC, between family, travels, gigs, and trying to enjoy a little bit of summer with Amy, I was hard pressed to find the time to get to the gym. Let's face it, with the whole 2 hours of summer that we had in Edmonton, the last thing I wanted to do was go inside and run on a treadmill. I did though, try to stay as active as possible, which meant swimming, some golfing, a little slo-pitch, and the best activity to date teaching Amy how to play squash...you can ask her how that went...
We ate well, in every sense of the word. Most times it was healthy, but it was holidays and part of enjoying a holiday is doing things that you normally don't get the chance to do in your everyday life. In my previous life though, I would let the good times roll a little too often and a little too long. When we got back a few weeks ago, Amy and I set a 'd-day' for when we would return to our new normal, and we have and it feels good.
The best (sarcasm) part of my summer was coming home and going to the gym after a 2 week lay off. If you read my last blog, I was down to almost 370lbs! I was very excited. To my horror, the gym had replaced the scale and the new scale was a jerk he was NOT being nice AT ALL! I had gained big time... like 20 lbs... I was very very disturbed... I nearly broke one of the trainers in half as I grabbed him and said in a very desperate voice 'WHERE IS THE OLD SCALE, you know the one that said I was skinny, this one is calling me fat'... he didn't quite know what to say, or how to say it, 'the old scale was out by 6lbs...' I felt like someone had punched me in the stomach, the scale that I had trusted, the scale I grown to love, I shared secrets with had DECEIVED me. If it was in the building it would have made it's last noise being crunched by the asphalt as I through it off the roof.
I went home, and nearly cried. I was so disappointed, but eventually I came around to the truth that even though it was out I had still lost the same amount of weight, because I had started from a bigger number as well.
The new scale seems to be working ok, but I will never trust it. How could I after being deceived these many weeks and months. However it says that I am 389 lbs... so if we add 6 to the 370 I was at we arrive at 376. Which means right now I am about 13lbs away from where I started at the beginning of the summer. I am not really worried about that coming off as I know when I start doing my regular work-out routine and keep eating the way I know I am supposed to things will turn around.
This comes to my new goal. I have been thinking about it all summer, where I want to be in the next few months. I have decided that I would like be to at 300lbs by my next birthday which is just over 6 months away. This means I need to lose an avg. of 14.8 lbs a month. My previous avg. (before the sumer) was 20.6 lbs. So barring an extremely naughty cmas, (which won't be happening) I should be able to pull this off!
Thanks for reading, I love to hear from you!
Blake
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