On Monday morning I was in the gym doing some core work when I overheard a conversation between 2 ladies. I hate to eavesdrop but it's pretty hard not to when between planks and crunches a conversation between two people is going on a few feet away.
The first lady had inquired about the second ladies' health choices, the second lady made a response like "I am doing great I am down 'x' amount of lbs." (I can't remember figures I was too busy trying to not have a a heart attack after my second circuit of abs and planks). The second lady who had lost the weight then began a conversation about how she wished her husband would begin to make some healthier choices. She was voicing a fear about how she wanted her husband to be around, and not be subject to a premature death brought on by his choices in living a sedentary lifestyle.
I couldn't help but listen more intently to the ongoing dialogue as both ladies traded stories about friends' spouses dying and by this time I was finished my core workout and was 'resting' on my mat trying to not die of suffocation because my abs wouldn't contract anymore. The lady kept speaking her fears of being alone, and perhaps being left alone with kids and how defensive her husband got every time she brought the subject up. I felt really bad for her, which is hard for many of you to believe, but I truly felt bad for her. I understood her fears, my wife (Amy) and I have had that same conversation, and I have to say that the fear of dying a premature death caused by my idiotic choices in my lifestyle was definitely a kick start to my journey towards health.
As I wheezed and limped to my new favorite cardio machine the 'StairMaster', I replayed the conversation in my mind. I put myself in a mental conversation with the lady. I wanted to help her, I wanted to give her a way to motivate her husband, but as I thought more about it I had to ask the questions of why I started, and why I am sticking with my choice to engage in a healthy lifestyle. Part of it I had to admit was fear, I am scared to die and leave my wife alone. I am scared to not be able to provide for my future family, I am scared to not be able to be the father my future kids need me to be. However, there's more to my choice then that. My motivation may have started out of fear, but my continuation on this journey arises out of something that far exceeds the power of fear.
Fear definitely motivates us. It can motivate us into making healthy and positive choices, or it can send us into a spiral of hate, treachery and even murder. Fear arises out of that which we cannot understand, or discern through our senses, through our minds, and even through our spirits. A little fear goes a long way as a catalyst for change. However, fear is usually a starting point especially when we are talking about lifestyle changes. Fear doesn't bring lasting change in many people, because we try not to live in fear, and truthfully I don't think we are supposed to. Fear fades over time, fear is something we tend to confront, overcome, subdue, and move on from. Fear that motivates is no different.
When I was 21 I moved to Edmonton, about 6 months later I went to the Doctor because I was having a lot of pain in my feet, I was also having frequent nosebleeds (2-3 times a day for at least 1-2 hours). Talk about fear. I was worried enough to go see a Doctor without any medical coverage (this I know is weird when you are from Canada, but it is possible to be without medical coverage and drug coverage in the country). He was kind enough to see me and promptly took my blood pressure. It was 180/165, he couldn't believe it so he took another reading and the other arm was almost 190/175. Stroke zone for blood pressure readings are 190-200 so I was close, really close. He almost hospitalized me. He scared me that day, enough to go home and recruit some help from my roommate Grant who was a body builder/personal trainer.
Fear is a "minimal motivator", at some point in time the fear fades away in the into the great abyss and resides with the rest of the diseases that could possibly kill you, the fact that you have the power over this one isn't considered. The foot pain was gout, a very painful arthritis caused by a rich, high fat diet and is controlled by medication. The nosebleeds were caused by dry, musty air in our apartment and they lasted long because I didn't know how to stop them. The blood pressure was adjusted a little by diet, but a few years later when I was able to afford it I was placed on medication. Hypertension (High Blood Pressure) is thought to be caused by obesity, a high sodium diet, stress, lack of sleep, and genetic preconditioning, all of which I have. By being able to control these issues with proper medications and science, the fear was removed. This enabled me to move on in my life and back into habits that I had formed and given up for a brief time because fear motivated me to do so.
So what keeps us motivated? What will keep you moving towards your goal? I would love to hear from you! This will be a two-part blog, I will write more this week.
It's been a busy week, hence the blog at midnight on Sunday. I had a great week at the gym, and a pretty good week eating. I did my best with the weekend which was full of BBQ's, Church Events and a Wedding Reception! I weighed in on Friday and I was down almost 1lb from last week which brings me to 384.8 so I am about .2 lbs away from 41lbs lost! Every little bit helps...
Talk to you later in the week...
Blake
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4 comments:
hey blake - love the blog on fear . . . i also think there is the fear of failure and that is why we dont try in the first place. that has been my pattern - loose a little, then gain back and feel stupid about it. So this time for me its the long haul - the days i screw up and go off my plan i decide that the whole day is not a write off - its just getting back at it and starting again and again. yes i will fail and fail again, so that means i will try and try again. I am down 25lbs and that leaves 85lbs to go for me :)
Vanessa Sim
Hey Blake! It's Kathy from bible college. Saw your post on Facebook. Glad to hear you're on this journey!
I have learned a lot about food in the last few years. The healing power of good food is amazing! Now if I could just get my husband to eat his veggies! Maybe then he wouldn't suffer from recurrent gout and acid reflux! His whole ankle swells up from gout and he can't walk for days. Brocoli in the evening is his new 'cure' for the otherwise nightly heartburn in which he would wake up suddenly choking and gasping. I, also, have had health issues that i have learned to change with food.
My point? It's not only the obese that deal with the consequences of poor diet. Food may be your enemy, but it can be your cure! Keep up the good eating! You're an inspiration to others!
Kathy.
Blake,I guess one reason I love reading your blog so much is it takes me back to my own journey of dropping nearly 80lbs in a year and a half. Trust me when you reach your goal weight your only question will be why you didn't start sooner.
I concur that fear is a great motivator, this is what gets us off the couch, it fuels almost every commitment in our lives on a fundamental level. But I think to make a lifelong commitment to anything enjoyable after the first few months you have to move past fear into something more inspiring. This is why performance based goals can often be more motivating than aesthetic goals. Furthermore it is moving past yourself into the bigger picture. Probably the only reason I have stuck with fitness and nutrition this long is that I view it as a spiritual endeavor. It is every bit as worshipful to me as spending a Sunday morning in church. God created us with perfect bodies, how dare we let them go to waste, how dare we destroy them. Every movement, every natural life giving food ingested is an act of stewardship and thanksgiving for what He has given us.
Btw, thanks for the kind mention.
Hi Blake, you remind me of how the fear of hell had no impact on me in my spiritual journey; to be "saved from hell" was not a magnate for my soul - and as you say, we can learn to "get over it" - we can let the fear subside, especially when we use our addictions to forget.
You are demonstrating that the journey is the awaking of a deep memory for the One for whom we were made. Just reading a reference to Augustine: "the mind knows things it does not know it knows." (ha). Here's to an awakened memory, in addition to all the things to which you are being awakened. r
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