Back in Black?

Duh, duh du duh, duh duh duh... dan na na na na (vibrato) ... you have to sing that to AC/DC 'Back in Black' and if you don't know that song... well, just skip it.

Life is extremely busy these days, but to be honest life is never quiet.  We always seem to fill it up with every kind of busyness.  Go to this meeting, get that errand done, go to this rehearsal, do this gig etc... life would be easy if you didn't have all the responsibilities that life comes with, which actually make it life and not just breathing.  Sometimes the activities that make life or will make life better for us are often ignored for those opportunities that masquerade as opportunities for advancement, aka busyness.

Take for instance today, I had an early (I mean early for me) appointment at a radio station to plug my upcoming cd release concert (cue shameless plug which is at Calvary Baptist Church Oct. 23/10 at 7:00 p.m. with Linnea Salte and Jill Hagen).  This meant that I had to disrupt my normal morning routine which usually encompasses getting to the gym by 8:30 and working out and then beginning my day.  I don't like my routines getting interrupted and try to not to allow it.  So why didn't I go to the gym after the interview at 9:00?  Well because I have a Dr. appointment at 2:00 p.m. of course.  I see the question in your eyes.  I know it doesn't make sense to anyone else, but to me working out in the gym is like an appointment with death, better left delayed, however if it's going to happen then just get the damn thing done.  Hence the reasoning 'if I can't do it in the first part of my day, then I am not going to do it at all', because it messes with the ebb and flow of the rest of my day (today in particular as I teach for 6 hours, and then have a band rehearsal for another 2-3).

The last few weeks have been hard, no weight-lifting because of my shoulder problems, intermittent gym attendance (avg. about 3-4 times a week) due to being sick and a schedule from hell, which I plan so whose fault is that?  Eating wise it has been hard.  Emotional eating is almost a disease for me, it is an addiction because food was always my first place of comfort, even to the point where it makes me angry when I can't have the foods I crave.  Needless to say the scale has let me know how disappointed it is in me, but what can a machine tell you?  Nothing really, except that I am on a journey that will end in disillusionment if I switch my addiction from food to the self-satisfying feeling I get when I drop 5 lbs in a week.  The extremity of either makes neither healthy.

One of things I am learning about this journey is that it isn't about going to the gym one or two days, or eating well for a few months and then taking a break.  To be successful means to commit to the journey all the time including the times when it's ok to indulge without overindulging.  To commit to a life change, as opposed to just following a diet plan until I reach a destination.  Funny word that, destination, as though 'there is always better than here' (thanks Joe Meyers for that thought)... I am learning that my destination is definitely a little more broader than losing a few pounds, but rather on the horizon rising as the sun lit with full glory is a destiny that is bound to change not only my physical appearance, but will also touch and challenge my spiritual and emotional life as well.

right now I am at 393 a loss of 2 lbs, as last week (which I didn't have time to blog about ) I was 395...
so here's to a crazy busy week, fraught with all types of fears and never ending opportunities for failure!

Blake